He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Randomize
