Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
Randomize
