I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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