i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
