i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
Randomize
