My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
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