do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
40s are totally the cure
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
Randomize
