North Korea, Best Korea!
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
