Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
sarcasm needs its own font
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
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