The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
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