If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
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On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
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just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
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