matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
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