we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
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