I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
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