So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
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