is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize
