i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
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