She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
