chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
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