I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
