i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize
