get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
I just googled if crying burns calories
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
Randomize
