is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
where are you?
Hypothermia
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
Randomize
