i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
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