Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
Randomize
