Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
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