May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
