That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
Randomize
