So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
Randomize
