hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
it's great music for shaving your balls
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
Randomize
