I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
Randomize