there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
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