is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
I woke up and there is a food processor in my purse. Someone else's framed family photo. My front door is wide open and my gerbil is playing in the water bong.
Yeah I'm going to bathe him.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
