why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
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