I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
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