no. you can't hotbox the world.
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
Randomize
