just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
Randomize
