do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
Randomize
