Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
