I love black thongs
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
