I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
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