Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
Randomize
