I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
Randomize