Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
Randomize
