I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
Randomize
