your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
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