Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
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