I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
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