The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
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