i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
Let's get the cat blown out
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize