this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
My Higher Power is John Stamos
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
Randomize
