oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
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Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
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I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
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