Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
Randomize
