I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
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