He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Randomize
