great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
Randomize
