I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize