I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
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